Brother Refuses to Include Step Sister in Family Portrait at Wedding, Leading Her to Discover Her Family’s True Feelings Towards Her

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Apr 4, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

In life, friends come and go, but your family is forever. So, how would you respond if your own brothers no longer considered you to be family? Would you give up and admit defeat, or would you persist in attempting to make amends?

The story that follows is an account of a frustrated sister. The Original Poster (OP) recalls the moment she realized her siblings had never seen her as a member of the family. OP, the youngest of her siblings, has always held her three older brothers in high regard. She was therefore extremely offended when her oldest sibling tied the knot and she wasn't included in the family photos.

In addition to sharing her experience, OP turned to Reddit for comfort and guidance on how to handle the present predicament. Having said that, if you're interested in learning more about OP's family dynamics, don't forget to read the story below! After you're done, make sure to revisit the story of the woman who gets into a family dispute when she finds out that her sister has been exploiting her kindness!

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  • 01
    My oldest brother got married last year and the wedding was the experience that opened my eyes, I guess. My brother's wife got a few sibling photos taken in different poses and stuff, and my brothers had photos together and my brother and his wife posed with all the siblings. But all the siblings did not include me. I was not in any of the sibling photos. My mom even came to get me and I then watched as the photos were taken without me. My
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  • 02
    AITA for making a big deal about being excluded from my brother's wedding photos?
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  • 03
    So my mom was widowed before she met my dad and she had my three brothers from her first marriage. By the time I was born they were 11, 9 and 8 and I think their dad had been gone for 3/4 years at that point. I always loved and looked up to them but I can admit now that they were never too into me. Mom would bring us all together for movie nights, family game nights, hikes, bowling, museum tours and
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  • 04
    stuff. But that gap between us never closed. I didn't see it when I was younger. I felt so lucky to have three big brothers and people used to say how sweet it was to be a little girl with three much older brothers to look out for her and protect her. So I believed that's how it was. And I would get so caught up in whenever they visited that I ignored how much they avoided being around me or how cold they were to me.
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  • 05
    They also don't have a close relationship with my dad but I knew they had a different one and thought that was pretty typical. But I still thought we were real siblings I guess. My oldest brother got married last year and the wedding was the experience that opened my eyes, I guess. My brother's wife got a few sibling photos taken in different poses and stuff, and my brothers had
    via u/Visual_Tap_5695
  • 06
    photos together and my brother and his wife posed with all the siblings. But all the siblings did not include me. I was not in any of the sibling photos. My mom even came to get me and I then watched as the photos were taken without me. My mom told my brother I was waiting but he said I would only be in the bigger group photo at the end. When it came to the immediate family photo it was just my mom and three
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  • 07
    brothers with my brother's wife and her parents and siblings. Dad and I were not included in that. My brother did this really sweet dance with his wife's youngest sister who was 14/15 I think (I'm 16 for reference) and that was like a major highlighted thing but he didn't dance with me at all and neither did my other brothers.
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  • 08
    Two or three months after the wedding it still bothered me and then we went to my brother's house and I saw that I wasn't visible in the bigger wedding photo. Like you would not realize I was there at all. That really upset me and I told my parents after that I didn't want to go back to the house anymore. I got kinda upset and the whole wedding and then the photo in his house overwhelmed me and I started crying.
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  • 09
    My mom got so angry at my brother and all three of my brothers then told mom that she was overreacting and was interfering. She told them how upset it made me and they said I was making a big deal out of something I shouldn't be, because I should
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  • 10
    know they're not close to me and don't see me as their real sister. They said I was just being an overdramatic baby and making a big deal out of something I should just forget. They were really angry at me. My mom and them are still fighting about it. AITA?
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  • 11
    [deleted] 23 hr. ago Oh, this is heartbreaking. You're NTA. Of course, NTA. Maybe when they were still young, I could have acknowledged how hard it must have been for them to lose their father, then see their mother go on to make a new family, but they're adults
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  • 12
    now and their behaviour is just awful. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you must have felt standing there waiting for your turn in the picture.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 13
    Visual Tap_5695 OP 23 hr. ago . It was uncomfortable and the more photos I saw being taken, especially the different sibling ones, then more I felt like I wanted to cry. I held it all in until I saw the photo at my brother's house and then I couldn't hold it in anymore.
    via u/Visual_Tap_5695
  • 14
    BlueNightFyre · 21 hr. ago The dance with his fiance's sister is what got me. That's heartbreaking, I'm sorry you had to experience such needless. exclusion
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  • 15
    floatingvan 23 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA-you need to accept they don't really like you and you need to realise you might never get closure or the answer of why. I'm sorry this s ks and as a kid you are not to blame, some people are just selfish a oles.
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  • 16
    Visual Tap_5695 OP 23 hr. ago I don't expect answers or for it to change. I think the fact all three of them feel the same tells me it's not something that would improve with more time.
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  • 17
    SincerelyCynical · 21 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [25] I'm an older, first marriage sibling to a second marriage half-sister. It's not an excuse, but it is a hard role to have. Your brothers lost their dad. That is a heartbreaking, life-changing experience they share that doesn't include you. Then their mom went on to marry again, to a man who isn't their father,
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  • 18
    and home felt less like home after that. Again, that's an experience they share that doesn't include you. Then their mom had another baby. She started a whole new family, and home felt even less like home, and their dad wasn't there. Again, that's an experience they share that doesn't include you.
    via u/SincerelyCynical
  • 19
    It isn't fair to you. None of this is your fault, and you shouldn't pay the consequences. But for you, your brothers have been your brothers for your entire life. Your home and parents have been the same for your entire life. That isn't how it has been for them, and they have experienced and a bond that does not include you. They've endured hardships that are likely unimaginable to you.
    via u/SincerelyCynical
  • 20
    I'm so sorry your brothers don't want to be closer to you, and I'm sorry they made this so apparent in such a painful way. You shouldn't be paying the price for the troubles they've had to face.
    via u/SincerelyCynical
  • 21
    DiscordiaToo 20 hr. ago Thank you. This is the comment that explains it to all the people saying the brothers are evil.
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  • 22
    abnerdwight · 23 hr. ago NTA. I think you saw the signs that they weren't close to you. Some people are just not close. Talk to a professional to move through your grief and start building relationships that actually make you happy. Hopefully you'll find someone that would take pictures with you.
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  • 23
    • Visual_Tap_5695 OP · 23 hr. ago I don't know if therapy is something I'll get to do for a few more months but I will keep this in mind.
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  • 24
    abnerdwight 23 hr. ago. Be easy on yourself. You don't have to talk to anyone until you're ready. I think this is a sign on what to expect on your other brothers's wedding, if they're getting married in the future.
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  • 25
    • Visual Tap_5695 OP 23 hr. ago I don't expect to be invited in the future and if I'm honest, I might not go. It hurts to see them not include me as a sibling or even a member of their actual family.
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  • 26
    OhSoScandal · 22 hr. ago NAH Obviously you did nothing wrong. But you can't force other people to love you. Your mothers other children have experienced the family dynamics and family life in another way than you have. A typical sibling bond is never an obligation or owed, as painful as it may
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  • 27
    be. It's sad your eyes were opened this way, this experience must be truly heartbreaking. I can understand why you didn't see/feel it before this. After all, you grew up being used to them being the way they are. Take good care of
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  • 28
    yourself and know that it's not because of who you are as a person. Do you have anyone to talk to about this? Can you ask your mother if therapy could be a possibility for you?
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Tags

feud loyalty Modern Family family drama sibling rivalry siblings askreddit reddit story family feud petty wedding entitled family portrait Reddit heartbreaking entitled people
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